


Past, present, future

by Lighthouse_on_the_sea



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Angst, Bullied Merlin, Doctor Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Protective Arthur, Uther is a shit dad, and other things, at the beginning it had a mature rating, now it's explicit, past atempt suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:07:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27923506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lighthouse_on_the_sea/pseuds/Lighthouse_on_the_sea
Summary: After a series of difficult times, Merlin decides he needs a change of scenery, so he moves to New York to live near his best friend Gwen.It is well known, however, that you cannot escape from your past and when one night Merlin's past shows up at his door, Merlin's life changes again.or: 8.400 million people in New York and Merlin manages to meet the only one he had hoped never to see again.
Relationships: Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 67





	1. Parallel lines

**Author's Note:**

> I had already published this story a while ago, but rereading it I realized that it could be improved.  
> I could never have imagined (and hoped) that someone as talented as Cracked Teapot would have responded to my request to do some fan art for the story (they will be in chapter 2 and on my Tumblr when the chapter comes out), so thank you very much for contributing to this creature.
> 
> The story consists of 4 chapters that will be released on Sunday and Wednesday!  
> I'll stop talking now, enjoy the reading

The jolt that followed the landing, woke Merlin, who stretched making his back creak, earning a glare from the old lady next to him.

5 hours delay and 11 hours of flight, but Merlin knew it could have been worse, it could have been like last Christmas and Merlin didn't want to think about last Christmas when his flight was 12 hours late, due to a sudden snowstorm which had earned him a stopover halfway and night spent inside the airport.

A real Odyssey, but for his best friend Merlin would have faced this and more.

Five years ago Gwen, his best friend from university, had moved to the Big Apple to follow Lancelot, her boyfriend, in his new job position at Camelot Med, one of the most prestigious hospitals in New York and the distance hadn’t stop Merlin, who never missed an opportunity to fly to America and spend time with her.

He had just retrieved his luggage - thank God, without confusing it with that of another passenger or without chasing someone who had accidentally taken his - when the phone, crammed at the bottom of his bag, began to ring.

After a few seconds of frantic search, Merlin managed to find it and answered “Hey Lance!“

“Merlin! Have you landed yet? How was your flight?“

“Yes, just now and everything’s fine, the usual delay“

“I’m Happy. However, I was calling to tell you that they called me back to the department for an operation, my patient got worse and I won't be able to pick you up. 

I'm really sorry” 

“Don't worry Lance, your house is close to the airport and I come by so often that I could go there with my eyes closed“

“Thanks mate, see you as soon as possible, and sorry again“

“Don’t worry! Go save a life Doc!“ Merlin closed the call with a smile and, after loading the bags on his shoulder, he left for his friends' house.

* * *

Not far away, in a luxurious penthouse located in one of the richest neighborhoods in New York, Arthur Pendragon , a renowned neurosurgeon and son of the owner of Camelot Med, was sleeping blissfully after a night of fools.

The religious silence that hovered inside the apartment was suddenly broken by the insistent ringing of the his cellphone, resting on the bedside table.

“Arthur Pendragon speaking“ he said with voice mixed with sleep 

“Arthur Pendragon! I swear to God, if you're still sleeping, I'll come over and kick your ass up to the Med!“

“Father ... today’s my day off“

“I don’t care! Get here now Arthur! Last night at dinner I reminded you the importance of this morning's surgery!“ there was a thud on the other side of the phone andthe line became silent again .

Arthur pressed his face against the pillow, grunting in frustration, then fighting against the after-effects of a colossal hangover, he got up from the bed, forced himself into uncomfortable clothes and left the house grabbing a cup of coffee before closing the front door.

His flaming red sports car (or "Red Pendragon" as his father used to say) lit up with a dull roar and set off at full speed through the streets of New York.

* * *

Merlin wasn’t lost.

He knew the way to get to Gwen's apartment and the fact that he had turned a block earlier than he should have, was a purely deliberate and absolutely non-accidental action.

So, after 20 more minutes of walking, Merlin finally reached the familiar crossroads that led to the street where his best friend lived.

The pedestrian traffic light lit up with a cheerful green color. 

Merlin wasn't even halfway through it, when a scarlet car passed at full speed, completely ignoring the red light, and almost hit him.

White with fright and trembling legs, Merlin reached the other side of the sidewalk “ The traffic light was red, you dollophead! “ he shouted to the driver who, obviously, could not hear him.

Once calm, Merlin resumed his walk towards his destination, occasionally muttering some insult to the man who had almost run him over.

* * *

“Wow, that was close!“ Arthur thought, parking his car in the hospital parking lot. 

It wasn’t his habit to drive so fast on the streets of New York, especially not at morning rush hour, but that was an emergency and every more minute of delay meant just more shouting from his father.

“Finally you had bothered to show up“

“Speaking of the devil ...“ Arthur muttered in a low voice, running a hand through his blond hair “The others are already in the surgery room! Why you never learn! You're a Pendragon, you have to be always the best!“.

Uther kept shouting at him all the way from the entrance to the surgery room.

Once inside, everyone turned to look at him “Arthur, what are you doing here? Isn’t today your day off?“

“Lance, can we not talk about it?“ the blonde surgeon replied approaching the table

“Arthur, mate, you look like shit, you haven’t had a day off in weeks! You need to speak with your father“ the other continued watching Arthur worried “What for? You know this is his sick way to make me pay for being gay. 

For years his purpose has been making my life a living hell, covering myself with work and seminars to follow, hoping to "heal me”, or at least to occupy my time so much that I can’t have a life outside this fucking hospital.

Now, let's start this operation and maybe I'll be able to sleep a couple of hours on the on call room!”.

* * *

“So this is why I was late“ said Merlin sipping the cup of tea that Gwen had poured him.

“I am happy that you are unharmed and above all I am happy that you have finally decided to move here“

“After my mother's death I thought a lot about it and it no longer made sense to stay in Belfast in that empty and sad house“ replied Merlin with a sad smile.

“You made the right choice. 

I know it's not easy, that house always belonged to your family, but a little change will do you good.

By the way, you haven't told me where is the apartment you bought“ Gwen said taking Merlin's hands  “I didn't tell you because I wanted it to be a surprise. 

So, surprise! I'm your new neighbor!“ Merlin said making a jazz hands move and the girl squeaked trapping him in a crushing hug “We have to celebrate!“. 

* * *

The first thing Lancelot noticed when he came home late that evening was the smell of chicken with herbs, which he knew meant just only one thing: party.

“Honey, I'm home!” he said hanging the coat on the coat rack “Lance!“ Gwen ran to kiss him on the lips.

“This is the smell of chicken with herbs, isn’t it?“

“No, it is not chicken with herbs, it is MY chicken with herbs“ Merlin replied, coming out of the kitchen wearing an apron and wielding a spoon with a threatening air.

“My poor heart cannot hold so much happiness. What is the reason for this lavish meal? Aside from your splendid presence obviously“

“The the reason, my sarcastic friend, is simple: I’m moving to America and it seams that I will also be your new neighbor!“ said Merlin waving the spoon in the air to emphasize the news “It's great! And now that you are going live here, you have to meet new people.

I’ll call the boys and invite them to dinner, knowing you two, there will be enough food for everyone“ said Lancelot already dialing the number of his friends.

* * *

Merlin had never been a very extroverted person and meet new people had always made him anxious.

He spent almost an hour to decide what to wear, opting for a soft pine green jumper with a little too long sleeves and a pair of slim fitted washed jeans, turned up to the ankles.

His hair, a little long and still damp from the shower, elegantly surrounded his face, bringing out his cheekbones covered by a light layer of dark beard.

Merlin came out of his apartment and knocked at his friends’ door “Merls! You look possibly edible“ said Gwen, kissing him on the cheek before letting him enter the house 

“I’m nervous Gwen“ confessed merlin torturing the sleeves of his jumper.

Gwen grabbed his wrists and kissed them “Don’t be, they’re all great guys and if suddenly everything becomes too much I'll be there ok?“ 

“Ok“ Merlin replied breathing deeply to calm down.

After a little time, the sound of the intercom frightened Merlin and his heart started to beat fast again and his breathing get a little heavier.

“Breath“ Gwen said, popping up beside him and putting her hand on his shoulder wile Lancelot went to open the door “Welcome guys, come in.

He is Merlin, an old friend of me and Gwen, he is moving her from Belfast“ Lancelot said, closing the door behind the three newcomers.

The first one to introduce himself to Merlin was Gwaine, he was not very tall, with beautiful long brown hair and a smile that screamed "trouble"; the second was Percival , who was quite the opposite of what it looked like, his imposing size was directly proportional to the goodness of his soul; last but not least there was Leon, a tall boy with curly and reddish hair, quiet but very funny.

After the first presentations, Merlin felt lightened, according to the seats at the table he had already met the majority of the guests “I think it will be all fine” he said to himself before being swept into a chat about Belfast's beauties with Gwaine.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, the bell rang again, Merlin was laughing for something Leon had said and without thinking he went to open the door and when his eyes focused on the person at the entrance, his breath died in his throat.

“Merlin?“

“M- Morgana!? Is really you?“

“Yes! What are you doing here? Oh God, you haven't changed at all“ the girl said hugging him suddenly.

“Gana! I see you met Merlin.

He's a friend of mine since university, he is almost like a brother… and about brothers, where did you leave yours?“ asked Gwen appearing at the entrance to welcome her friend 

“Arthur is here?“ Merlin asked with wide eyes.

Suddenly, the elevator doors at the end of the corridor opened and a boy with unmistakable blond hair came out.

Merlin felt himself breaking out in a cold sweat, his mouth became dry and his muscles froze. He felt like a deer dazzled by the headlights of a car and his car had a very specific name: Arthur Pendragon. 

“Sorry for the delay Gwen, I couldn't find somewhere to park my car. So what are we celebrating?“ said the blonde man and God, his voice, Merlin would have recognized it among a thousand, even now that it had grown deeper.

“Don't worry Arthur, we're used to you being late“ Lancelot said emerging from the living room to greet his friends “And we are celebrating Mer-“

“ _Mer_ lin!?“ exclaimed Arthur noting, for the first time since he arrived, the boy by the door who swallowed hard “Do you know each other?“ asked Gwen puzzled noticing the expression on Merlin's face “I need air“ he said running towards the balcony. 

Some time passed where everyone looked at each other confused and suddenly Gwen understood “Merls, how many chances are there that the Arthur you once told me about, the bully that, with his friends, made your life so impossible, to push you to…that, could be the same Arthur you just met?“ asked Gwen entering the balcony and putting her hand on Merlin shoulder “100% Gwen, 100%.

It's amazing, eight million people in New York and I meet the one who I would have preferred never see again“ 

“Oh Merlin, I’m so sorry, but you have to know that I have known Arthur for almost 5 years and he isn’t the same person you told me about ...“ said the girl hugging him “I hope you are right Gwen, I can bear to reliving everything, not after what I did to overcome what happened, not now that I no longer have my mother next to me, not now that I’m alone“ Merlin started to cry and Gwen hugged him more petting his head until he was calmer whispering “It will be alright, you are not alone, I’m here, Lance is here” every now and then.

After a few minutes Merlin felt better “Thanks Gwen” he said wiping away his tears “Do you want me to send everyone away? We can eat our dinner on the sofa and cuddling“ said the girl petting again Merlin’s raven hair “No, I’m ok now, I can handle it. Let’s go“

* * *

“So Merlin, what brings you to the chaotic New York?“ Gwaine asked, once the dinner started “I moved here mainly to be with my best friends, but also because my life in Belfast was over“ Merlin said.

“If I'm not too pushy, I would like to ask you what you mean with over“ Parcifal added, placing a hand on his shoulder “A few months ago my mom died after years of fighting cancer“ he paused and took a deep breath.

“Didn't you had anyone near?“ this time it was Morgana who spoke.

“For a while there was someone... my ex _boyfriend_ _“_ Merlin risked a glance at Arthur

“Then one day after my mother’s death, he told me that i was ‘too complicated’, he stopped answering my calls and just disappeared“ the girl stretched a hand on the table and placed it on his “I don't blame him.

Who would stay with an ex-suicide after his mother's death, with the constant fear that he would try that again as soon as you get distracted for a minute?“ said Merlin pulling down unconsciously, the sleeves of his jumper, to hide the two whitish scars that ran down his wrists.

Arthur looked down and let out a heavy sigh that looked like a muttered “I would kill him“.

* * *

Later the gang moved to the living room to watch a movie, Merlin, as if by fate, ended up caught between Gwen, spread on Lancelot and Arthur.

He was tense as a violin string and attentive to every movement of the blond men at his right. 

After a few minutes of silence and fleeting glances, the situation had become so unbearable that Merlin decided to get up to get a glass of water.

Everyone was so absorbed in the plot that they noticed nothing; all except Arthur, who followed him in the kitchen.

Arthur wanted to fix the situation, the guilt that he had been carrying inside for nine years was killing him and, since he had known about the other man's attempted suicide, he couldn’t get out of his head the idea of being, at least partly responsible “Merlin, can we talk?“ he said, torturing his hands “ We have nothing to talk about “ Merlin answered lapidary “We haven't seen each other in nine years... the way I treated you at the time…“

Merlin grabbed the edge of the sink and thanked that Arthur couldn't see his face “What do you mean? You mean when you and your friends had fun pushing me against the lockers hard enough to break my ribs yelling ‘die fagot’ ? Or when they forced me to give you a blowjob and then covered all the school with my photo doing it? Or are you referring to the fact that you have made my life so unbearable that I decide to end it at seventeen?“.

Merlin turned and planted his eyes in Arthur’s ones, he was angry and hoped the blond man would get the message and get out of the way.

Unfortunately Arthur didn’t and with a lightning movement, grabbed Merlin's wrist, raising the sleeve of his jacket, uncovering the white scar to better observe it.

“Let me go” pleaded Merlin, while Arthur's hands, trembling, traced the lines of the scars on his wrists “God Merlin it’s my fault“ whispered Arthur in a strangled voice passing again and again the tip of his thumb on the thin white line that cut the other boy's wrist in half.

“You never thought that your actions could hurt until this point didn’t you?“ 

“Merlin, I…“

“Are you ok guys?“ asked Gwen entering the kitchen.

Merlin freed himself from Arthur's grip as if the other's fingers were made of fire and he withdrew his arm, covering it again with his jumper “Yes Gwen, don't worry.

I'm just a little tired, you know, the flight, the move; I think I will go home, will you greet the others for me? I don't want to interrupt the movie“ said Merlin before going straight to the door followed by Arthur and, few steps behind a worried Gwen .

Arthur grabbed his jacket and began to wear it “What are you doing?“ Merlin asked opening the door “I'll walk you, it’s late“ Arthur answered “There's no need ... I just have to cross the landing“ replied Merlin bolting for the door of his flat “Merlin wait, please“

“Arthur, stop, I beg you. 

I don’t doubt that you have changed, Gwen and Lance would never be friends with a bad person, but try to understand, after all that has happened, after this...“ Merlin raised both wrists “… I can't risk it again, and you remind me of times I'd rather forget“ he concluded entering his flat and closing his door behind him.

Arthur went back to Gwen and Lance’s flat and slid along the door until he sat on the ground “Arthur, what happened?“ asked Gwen, as answer Arthur turned and, with his face streaked with tears he threw himself into her arms “I am a monster Gwen, I’m just like my father“ Gwen began to stroke his hair “Oh Arthur you're notting like Uther.

We all screw up at a young age.

I know Merlin, give him time, let him know the new you, the real you and don't blame yourself for what happened to him“

“But it was my fault! He said it! If I had understood before who I am, if I had understood before that all my anger towards him was nothing more than…“ Arthur could not finish the sentence, the words died in his throat and he abandoned himself to a liberating cry.


	2. Lower all walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was perhaps the most difficult chapter to write...  
> Warnings for this chapter: Past sexual abuse, homophobia, past suicide attempt.

Arthur didn't remember a worst day than the one he was living.  
He was really exhausted, he had worked incessantly for three weeks without ever having a day off.  
Furthermore, after last week and the meeting with Merlin, he couldn’t get rid of the guilt making him nervous and seriously undermining his concentration.  
As Result: the last operation set for the day, had almost ended in tragedy and now he was in his father’s office, waiting for the inevitable outburst .  
  
“Sit down Arthur“ Uther said opening the door “Father“  
“I heard what happened at this afternoon surgery“ the old Pendragon said coldly “The Pendragon cannot afford such mistakes!“  
“It was a distraction“  
“You're one of the best neurosurgeons in all bloody New-York! !   
You can't afford distractions!“.  
All the tension that Arthur had accumulated in those days exploded.  
The blond man got up from the armchair “Then give me a fucking day of!“  
“Even if I give it to you, you would use it to go out and prosecute your repugnant actions!“ snapped Uther, banging both hands on the desk “Repugnant actions...“ Arthur smiled bitterly, getting up and heading for the door  
“Where do you think you're going?“  
“Home, tomorrow I won’t be at work, and you won't even see me during the weekend“ said Arthur exiting the office followed by his father’s screams .  
How much he hated that man only God knew.

* * *

Even Merlin's week had been very chaotic.

Shortly before moving into the Big Apple, he had contacted a local publisher interested in publishing one of his novels, but he couldn’t afford to just write so Merlin had had to find a second job that would allow him to respect both the deadlines dictated by the contract with the publisher and pay the rent.

Tis was the reason because he was now serving as a waiter in the small cafe not far from the ‘Camelot Med’.

“Merlin, table 3 order is ready“ said Freya, his colleague, passing him a tray with tea and a blueberry muffin “I’ll go right away, Frey“ Merlin took the tray and, with his best smile, walked towards the table to serve the costumer.

Once the table was located, Merlin's gaze stopped on the customer's appearance, who sat with his back to him: broad shoulders, blond hair, white doctor's coat.

His heart went up in his throat, after the meeting with Arthur he had hoped to never see him again or at least not so soon, but obviously the fate amused himself making fun of him, putting Arthur back on his way over and over again.

[ ](https://ibb.co/hLz6SvC)

After a deep breath Merlin approached, noticing that, luckily for him, all Arthur's attention was directed to the book firmly held in his hands  
“Here is the tea and the blueberry muffin, you asked” he said placing the order on the table “Thank you“ replied the Pendragon looking up and meeting Merlin's gaze  
“Merlin, wait!“ Arthur grabbed Merlin’s apron string before the other could escape  
“Excuse me Arthur, there are many customers waiting“ Arthur looked around "Merlin, there are only an elderly coup-“ Arthur turned around just in time to see Merlin flee to the staf room.  
Once safe, Merlin let himself slip down until he sat on the floor “There are many customers waiting? Seriously Merlin? Is this the best excuse you could find?“ he said to himself, taking his head in his hands.  
“That was pathetic“ said Freya crouching beside him “I know“   
“I feel that there’s s a story behind all this“ continued the girl, sitting down   
“There is no story, it is just an old acquaintance that I am trying to avoid“ Merlin sincerely answered, standing up to check if Arthur was still sitting at the table, but luckily the blond doctor was gone.  
“Merlin, the only way to erase old acquaintances is to make new ones.   
So, tonight we will go clubbing! Me and my girlfriend Elena, had planed to go to the inauguration of a new LGBTQI + club if you like to come with us”  
“Perfect!” replied Merlin before going back to work.

* * *

“So? How was work today?“ asked Gwen, seeing him appear on the landing  
“I am so tired, I didn't think that New York’s people could drink so much coffee! Ah, andI also saw Arthur again” Merlin said inserting the keys in his house’s door “And?”  
“And nothing Gwen, I ran away blathering an idiotic excuse.   
It's stronger than me, every time I see him I panic”   
“Oh Merlin, you are hopeless…  
However, this evening Lance and I’ll go out to dinner, do you want to come with us?” asked Gwen smiling  
“No thanks Gwen, I already have plans.  
Freya invited me to accompany her and her girlfriend to the opening of a new place nearby”  
“Oh wow, I'm glad you made some new friends, see you tomorrow then”  
“See you tomorrow, have fun and remember that the walls that separate us are very, very thin” Merlin said giving Gwen a kiss on the cheek “You too” answered the girl raising her eyebrows.  
Laughing, they both returned to their homes.  
  
Two hours later Merlin's doorbell rang “Merlin we're here, come down!” said the shrill voice of Freya, made a little metallic by the speaker of the intercom “I'll be right away” Merlin grabbed his jacket and ran down the stairs.  
“Wow Merlin! If you came to work like this, we would have twice as many customers” Freya complimented him once he arrived outside the building.  
Although he always wore clothes a bit wider and more comfortable, Merlin knew exactly how to enhance the slender and slightly angular lines of his body; that evening he had opted for a pair of pale tight jeans and a navy blue V-neck sweater “go big or go home” replied Merlin smiling “Let's go playboy, the night awaits us” that said, the group walked towards the club.

After 20 minutes of walking, the friends found themselves in front of the new club.  
The entrance was decorated with many rainbow-colored lights, which alternately lit up, creating beautiful luminous games; the interior, consisted of a large dance floor with music ranging from 70s pieces to more recent songs, sofas and tables were placed all around while the bar was placed at the back of the room.  
“First round’s on me” Merlin said trying to get over the noise of the music “We should get him out with us more often.  
We are going to look for a table over there” Elena said taking Freya by the hand before going in search of the perfect place.

* * *

Arthur sat in one of the stools on the outermost side of the bar, thanking that he had found a semi-hidden spot from the club crowd.  
After arguing with his father, he needed a calming cup of tea so he went the only cafe near the Med, which had his favorite herbal tea, the only one that could calm his nerves.  
His plans, however, had not gone as he hoped.  
As if by a twist of fate, his order had been served by no other than Merlin, who, in order to not talking with him for 5 minutes, had found the excuse of having many costumers waiting, without noticing that there were no other customers apart an elderly couple who were already sipping their drinks.  
Arrived home, he had thought to go to bed early to take full advantage of the day off he had taken.  
He had just finished taking a shower when, turning on Facebook, he came across the news about a new LGBTQI + club opening, not too far from his apartment “A drink and a nice evening out will help me relax” he said to himself, putting on a pair of black trousers, rolled up at the ankles, and a red sweater, before grabbing the leather jacket and going out.  
  
The place he had chosen once he entered could very well be considered strategic.  
It was secluded enough, that the music wasn't too loud and allowed a good view on the dance floor, where a tall, thin young man with a mane of black curls and an extraordinary ass was dancing, with his back to him, with two girls who, given the effusions they continued to exchange, were obviously together.  
Arthur spent a good part of the evening watching that boy on the dance floor, bewitched by his movements, trying to find the courage to get up and dance with him.

Arthur was already at the third drink when he saw another man enter the club and Arthur recognized him immediately, he was Cenred King, surrounded, as usual, by his minions.  
The man was Arthur’s old acquaintance: almost a year before he and Cenred had met on the dance floor of a club and, after an evening spent teasing each other, they had found themselves in the club bathroom, with mouths glued together.  
Cenred had made Arthur turn, pushing him with his face against the wall and without too many preambles he had lowered Arthur’s pants and underwear, crawling his sex between his buttocks  
“No” the blonde man had exclaimed, trying to turn around to avoid the unwanted contact “I want to do this all evening” the other had growled holding Arthur pressed against the wall with more force “Cenred, I said no!” Arthur had protested trying to wriggle more forcefully “My golden prince, I don't accept a no.  
I see one thing, I want it, I take it.  
Now stop arguing and let me fuck you” that said, Cenred penetrated him with force, without a minimum of preparation or lub, causing him a terrible pain.  
The black-haired man had continued to thrust until he reached orgasm, and then left, leaving Arthur aching and unsatisfied.

While Arthur was lost in his thoughts, Cenred had advanced towards the raven-haired man, grabbed him by the hips and was now rubbing against him like a dog in heat.  
Dancing, the two changed positions and suddenly Arthur could see the face of the man with raven curls “Merlin!” he exclaimed in his head and then he got up and headed towards the couple.

“You won’t go home alone” Cenred said leaving a bite on Merlin's neck “No, he won’t, but he sure won't go home with you either” Arthur said grabbing Cenred's shoulder to remove him from Merlin  
“ Arthur! What a pleasure to see you again, and don’t worry my prince, after I'm done with him, I will have time for you too”  
“Don't you dare touch him” Arthur growled, moving Merlin behind him to shield him   
“Otherwise?” Cenred provoked him.  
Arthur’s fist impact on Cenred’s nasal septum, producing a resounding “crack”.  
The moment of glory, however, ended early, as after a few seconds, Cenred's minions were upon him.  
After an unequal struggle, a security guard pushed through the crowd and slammed Arthur, Cenred and the rest of the attackers out of the club .  
Merlin, left in the middle of the dance floor, was joined by worried Freya and Elena “Merlin, are you ok?” asked the latter “Y-Yes .  
I have to see how Arthur is, he was badly beaten when they kicked him out.  
See you on Monday at the cafe” that said Merlin rushed out of the club looking for Arthur “Thank God” he said when he finally identified him.  
  
Arthur was sitting on a bench not far away, intent on rinsing the wounds with water from a fountain “Arthur, are you ok? Should I take you to the Med?” Merlin asked, looking at Arthur worried “No need, I have nothing that a little disinfectant, patches and ice can't cure.  
I just have to stop the bleeding before calling a taxi, I don't want to scare the driver” Arthur said, continuing to wash his hand under the water of the fountain.  
“Let's go to my place” Merlin said stretching out a hand to help him get up.  
Arthur's eyes widened in surprise and a mischievous grin, mixed with a grimace of pain formed on his face “Not in that sense you idiot! I know that you are not, and I quote you: ‘an abomination like you’ but I feel guilty about what happened, and the least I can do is patch you up and offer ice for the hand” replied Merlin, obtaining a nod from the other.  
  
The two walked for a while in silence, both of them lost in their thoughts.  
Suddenly Merlin broke the silence “Why did you hit that man?”   
“Because he would have convinced you to go to the club toilet with him and then, he would have forced you to do things you don't want just for his personal pleasure”  
“And you know it because?”  
“Because that's what he did with me”.  
Merlin stopped abruptly, struck by the revelation “Oh”  
“I told you that a lot of things have changed, haven’t I?” Arthur replied, running his healthy hand through his hair.  
Merlin stopped in front of his building “Yes, you said that.  
We are here, come let's go in” that said the two entered the building and headed to Merlin's apartment.

* * *

“Come in, I'll make some tea and take everything you need for medications” said Merlin letting Arthur enter before throwing the house keys in the bowl on the table.  
After taking the cups, the plasters, the disinfectant and the ice, the two sat on the couch “Are you sure you don't want to go to the Med? This hand it looks so bad” Merlin said passing the umpteenth cotton soaked in disinfectant on Arthur’s scratches, who answered: “Who is the surgeon of the two of us, Merlin? >>  
“You”  
“So if I tell you I'm fine, I'm fine.   
I'm here to get myself medicated just because I didn't want you to turn and turn all night unable to sleep because you feel guilty for ruining such a perfect body”  
“Always so humble” replied Merlin rolling his eyes.

The silence grew heavy again and soon filled the whole room .  
Merlin finished disinfecting the last wounds and rearranged everything in the bathroom cabinet, then returned to the living room, took his cup of tea, and sat facing Arthur on the couch “How did it happen, Arthur?”  
“How did what happen?” Arthur replied confused, sipping from his cup “ How it happened that you are gay”  
Arthur settled down better on the couch his thighs resting so close to Merlin's feet that he could almost feel the heat emanating from him “I always was.  
Even in high school, I realized that I was so unkind with you, only because I envied the courage you had had by revealing to everyone who you were, getting the freedom to be who you are.  
I don’t remember when I started date guys but one evening my father had to stay out until late, so I invited home, one of my... "friends".  
They were barely seven o'clock in the evening and we were in my room, asleep after… you know, sex, and my father came back earlier, found us and that was the end of everything.  
My father took me and Morgana, arbitrarily deciding to move to New-York”  
“That's why you disappeared” Merlin added, continuing to listen carefully  
“The first years in the Big Apple I continued to date boys, trying to keep everything as secret as possible, but my father somehow always managed to discover me and every time it happened…” Arthur stopped, turned and raised his shirt slightly, showing Merlin a series of small whitish scars on his back, which were now joined by the purple color of the newly formed bruises.  
Merlin reached out and gently passed his finger over one of them.  
Arthur shivered at the touch “He wanted to heal me... as if being what I am was an illness”  
“Arthur…”  
“After two years I stopped trying and for others six, I continued to live by his rules.  
Six years in which I frequented the "right people", I started a medical career and I specialized in neurosurgery.  
Then, last year, I got tired of pretending to be the perfect son.  
It may very well be said that the good old Uther didn’t welcome my exit from the closet with joy and no longer being able to rage at me as he used to, he decided to make me pay in the only possible way: by taking away any possibility of making a life.  
I have lost count of my overdue rest days, my body can't take it anymore.  
Today I almost lost a little kid’s life! I fell asleep, one second more and the world would have had a life of only six years, less”.  
A tear went down solitary along Arthur's cheek, followed by a second and a third, all the frustration of the day struck him and he soon found himself bent with his elbows resting on his knees shaken by the tremors of a gigantic panic attack.  
Merlin pulled him to his chest hugging him “It's all right Arthur, everything will be fine, just breath” he said stroking Arthur’s blond hair to calm him “I'm so tired Merlin”  
“Come here, lie down, take deep breaths“ Merlin manhandled Arthur until he had his head resting on his legs and, with a delicate touch, he continued to caress his golden hair.  
After a few minutes of silence, Merlin felt Arthur's muscles relax “Merlin, I need to know what happened to you... what happened to you because of me”  
“Arthur… you silly prat, it wasn't your fault, it was a succession of things: finding out that my mother was sick with cancer, not being able to maintain fairly high marks, enough to get the scholarship that was my only chance to go to university.  
It was a difficult period, and yours and your friends continuing harassment, didn’t help.  
I didn't have anyone close to me, not a true friend, not a boyfriend I only had my mother and I was aware that she was going to die soon.  
So, I decided to leave first, because I couldn't stand the idea of being alone after her death .  
I know it was a selfish gesture on my part, but for once I wanted to think only about myself.  
Two sharp cuts and I waited.  
I woke up 6 days later in the hospital, I faced rehab and gradually took possession of my life .  
I entered university where I met Gwen and thanks to her I stopped feeling alone”  
Arthur grabbed Merlin’s hand, and dragged it over his chest, squeezing it lightly “Will you ever be able to forgive me?”  
“Tonight you opened, showing me an Arthur that I didn't know existed... there is nothing to forgive now that I know the reason for your actions” Merlin's free hand continued to caress the other's hair  
“Can we be friends then?”  
“I would like that very much”  
The two remained silent for a while, enjoying each other's closeness and after a while Arthur's breathing became heavier and more regular until he fell asleep   
“Hey, don't drool over me” Merlin said, getting up from the couch.

[ ](https://ibb.co/tZjJ7MV)

Arthur made a disappointed sound at the loss of contact “I don’t drool and you are comfy so come back here”  
“It's late, I’ll give you a pajama and a blanket, you can stay here for the night” Merlin said disappearing into his room in search of those things “Thanks” muttered Arthur before going back to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Arthur was awakened by the smell of coffee.  
Although a little sore from the blows he received and a night spent on the couch Arthur felt strangely rested “Good morning!  
Finally you woke up.  
I thought I should call Lance to see if you were still alive” Merlin said, entering the living room holding a cup of coffee “What time is it?” Arthur asked, stretching and getting up from the couch “Two in the afternoon”  
“WHAT!? I overslept!”.  
The Pendragon flung himself on his jacket, left on the table, and felt his pockets in search of his cell phone: 10 calls lost by his father, 20 messages always from the latter and 4 from his sister Morgana   
“I’m dead” he said picking, up his things as fast as possible “Arthur, everything all right?” asked Merlin, watching him with a concerned look “Yes, no, I don't know. I have to go, thank you for everything Merlin” that said, Arthur hugged Merlin and rushed out of the door, ending up bumping into Gwen.  
After apologizing to his friend, Arthur resumed his run down the stairs, leaving behind a confused Gwen and worried Merlin “Merlin, what was Arthur doing in your house?  
Weren’t you out with your colleague last night?” asked Gwen raising an eyebrow “Don't use the eyebrow with me! It's a long story” replied Merlin “I have all morning”  
“Come in, I made coffee” Merlin rolled his eyes and let his friend enter

* * *

Arthur drove like crazy through New-York’s traffic to get to his house, hopping that he would be allowed a shower and a change of clothes before facing his father.  
Once the car was parked in his garage, the blond hurried up the stairs, put the keys in the lock and entered his house.  
Quickly, he crossed the living room, heading straight to the bathroom but, in the middle of the movement, he noticed a familiar figure in the half-shadow of the room “Father” he whispered, feeling his mouth plushy for panic “Where were you Arthur?” the old Pendragon asked with a stern look “I…” Arthur tried to speak, but his father grabbed him by a wrist, squeezing it so tight that Arthur was sure there would be bruises the next day “Look at me when I talk to you!” thundered Uther “You disgust me, even looking at you makes me sick.  
You don't have an iota of respect for me, my wife died to give birth to you, an abomination! I can't accept it!”  
“She was my mother too, and I'm sure if she were here she would have loved me for who I am!” Arthur shouted, trying to free himself from his father's grip “But she's not and it's all your fault! Despite the anger and disgust I feel for you I raised you to what you are today, everything you've become Arthur, it was all thanks to me, show a little respect!”.  
Uther squeezed his son's wrist even tighter “Take your hands off me” hissed Arthur angrily freeing himself from his father's grasp “Why son, don’t you like the touch of a real man?” Uther replied trying to grab Arthur again   
“I hate you and I'm ashamed to share your surname.  
You may have helped me, but everything I am today is thanks to me and my commitment.  
Do you know how many job offers I have received? Almost every hospital in the United States would like to have me on their team, but I didn't left the Med because my team is my family, and I don't turn my back on family.” Arthur said pointing a finger at his father “I'm your family too, but you turned your back on me anyway”   
“Morgana is my family, Lancelot is my family, Leon, Percival and Gwaine are my family, you are just someone with whom I have the misfortune to share some genes” Uther opened his mouth to speak, but Arthur cut him off immediately “And don't start with the usual bullshit about how you can fire me, we both know you can't because I'm the best neurosurgeon on this side of the ocean!   
So, dear father, you have no more power over me and what I am.  
And as for my respect, you've lost it when you started doing this to me” Arthur shouted, taking off his shirt to be sure his father saw all the little white scars on his chest and back “Now give me the keys you used to enter here and if you can't get out of my life, at least get out of my house.  
I don't want to see your face if it is not strictly necessary!” that said, Arthur took his father by his collar’s shirt and pushed the old Pendragon, angrily out of his door.  
  
Once he was sure he was alone, Arthur let himself slide down the wall, taking his head in his hands and breathing deeply, to calm down another panic attack.  
It was amazing how that man always managed to surprise him, every time he thought that he couldn't do worse, his father did everything he could to overcome himself.

Having restored a fairly regular breathing rhythm, Arthur reached out for his phone and called the firs number in his speed dial “Morgs, He was here”  
“Oh God, Arthur, I'll be right there”.  
  
The sound of keys in the lock startled Arthur “Arthur?” his sister voice reached him through the corridor “I'm in the living room” he said rearranging the blanket in which he had wrapped himself more tightly.  
Morgana took off her coat and hung it on the coat rack before heading to the kitchen, preparing two cups of tea and then reaching her brother on the spacious red sofa “How do you feel?” she asked, patting his shoulder “As always after our father's visits: angry, sad, disappointed” the blond man answered, taking a good gulp from his cup “I tried to call you to warn you about Uther’s presence at your house, but you didn't read my messages... However, the damage is done, I hope whoever you were with was worth it.  
And this brings us to my first question: where were you last night, little brother?” asked Morgana with a mischievous grin on her face “At Merlin’s” Arthur said in an almost inaudible whisper “I didn't hear you” insisted the girl “At Merlin’s” repeated Arthur again, this time a little louder “I still can't hear you... I would swear you said you were at Merlin’s house”  
“Oh for heaven's sake Morgana! Yes, I spent the night at Merlin’s house, but not in the way your naughty little head is thinking”.  
Even while she drank from his cup of tea, the smirk on Morgana's face didn't seem to disappear, Arthur rolled his eyes “I met him, casually, at the inauguration of a new club not far from his apartment; he was there with two of his friends and I stayed on the sidelines, at least until Cenred, that bastard, approached him.  
Merlin didn't deserve the treatment that, that worm had reserved to me, not after all that he went through, so I got up and faced Cenred, getting a few scratches and some bruises.  
We were thrown out and Merlin kindly invited me to his flat to disinfect the wounds.  
We talked and as it was late I stayed on his couch, ** _to sleep_** ”.  
Morgana put her hand on her brother's knee “This means that you had finally confessed to your high school crush?” Arthur choked with the sip of tea he had just had  
“First: how do you know that Merlin was my high school crush? Second: that was nine years ago, the crush has passed and, despite that he’ve become a very handsome man, we have just become friends again and I don’t want to ruin everything” Morgana smiled “Where there is ash it may very well be fire again”  
“Morgana…” Arthur said, in a tone that indicated that the topic ‘he and Merlin’ was closed and that he didn't want to talk about it anymore.  
“Returning to our father…" said Morgana putting herself in a more composed position   
“I think you should get also the next week off.  
I was thinking that we could go with the group to our house in the countryside: peace, privacy, places where you can hide with Merlin…”  
“MORGANA VIVIENNE PENDRAGON! If you don't stop insinuating that I want something more than friendship with Merlin, I will be forced to tell George, our receptionist at the Med, that you want to spend an evening with him on a date” thundered Arthur, getting up from the couch “You wouldn't dare! You know I hate George, he's so boring”  
“Don't challenge me… and I will formally ask dad to grant me a week more of vacation but I don't think he will accept, not after today”


	3. Of evil sisters, equally evil dogs, hot showers, empathy and much more

_ One week later _   
  
Arthur still didn't understand how he ended up in the back seat of Morgana's car, crammed between everything needed for a week in the countryside and Merlin who, at every turn, tried to hold on to whatever possible not to end up on him.  
To his great surprise, his father had granted him, Lancelot and Gwaine the same week of vacation.  
As for the others, it had not been difficult to organize everything: Gwen had asked the editor of the newspaper she was working for, to be able to follow the story concerning the pollution of a lake not far from the Pendragon’s cottage; Leon and Percival had managed to get 4 days' leave from the captain of the firefighters and they would meet them only on Thursday, while Morgana, had closed her law firm for a week.  
“Morgana, why neither I nor Merlin can stay in front seat?” asked Arthur, for the umpteenth time, leaning between the two front seats “Because in front there is Aithusa and my little girl would risk to be crushed under all the things crammed in the back seat” Morgana replied gently stroking the head of the little Samojedo puppy proudly sitting in the passenger seat.  
The blond man snorted, Aithusa was his sister’s new purchase, a ball of white fur of 2 and a half months, so pretty as subtle and manipulative “So you prefer your brother and your friend to die under a stack of objects. I think George said he will be free next Friday”  
“You are such a drama queen Arthur! I thought I would do you a favor by putting you two pressed together in the back seat, you know, privacy and many excuses to touch each other” at these words the two boys looked at each other red-faced in shame and remained silent until they arrived at the cottage.

* * *

The two cars parked in the small space in front of the fence in the late afternoon and everyone got out and took their suitcases and supplies for the week.  
Having the house only 3 bedrooms, the divisions were soon made: Morgana would be alone in her room until Leon arrived, Gwen and Lancelot would take Uther's room while Merlin, Gwaine, Percival and Arthur would sleep in the room of the latter, using the 3 extra guest’s bends.  
Entering Arthur’s room, Gwaine positioned his bed along the wall to the left of the door, as was his custom to do whenever the group spent time at that cottage.   
“Ehm Arthur, where can I put my bed?” Merlin asked, a little uncomfortable, everyone already knew where to go and what to do while for him it was all so new “Oh sorry Merlin, I had forgotten that for you this is the first time at our country house.  
Usually Percival takes that side of the room so, a part from that, you can put your bed wherever you want” Merlin looked around for a while “Can I be under the window?” He asked pointing to the large window next to Arthur’s bed.  
Arthur tried not to think about that, leaving Merlin to position himself under that window, Merlin's bed would practically become an extension of his “No, no problem.  
But I have to warn you that the light will come directly on your pillow no later than 6 am” Arthur said “Oh it's not a problem, I never sleep until late and I like falling asleep watching  
the sky”  
”Oh no, another hopeless romantic” Gwaine exclaimed sarcastically, picking up his clothes and then slipping into the bathroom to have a shower.

Left alone, Merlin and Arthur found themselves in an awkward silence “What are the plans for dinner?” asked Merlin, breaking the tension that had been created “Yesterday I spoke with the others and we thought of going down to the local pub for burgers, chips and beers” replied Arthur, arranging the sheets on his bed “Gwaine! Get out of there we have to shower too!” he added, knocking on the bathroom door.  
In response, the door opened and, with a burst of steam, Gwaine came out.

Merlin stared at the small droplets that, falling from his wet hair, ran down his chest and then disappear in contact with the towel, tied so low at his waist that it was possible to see the small strip of dark hair on his lower abdomen.  
Merlin opened his eyes wide, beating his eyelids several times unable to take his eyes off Gwaine’s body, who, after a while, met his gaze, smiling slyly.  
“Gwaine, why every time you shower, you take your clothes to the bathroom and then you go out like that, without wearing them” said Arthur, raising his eyes to the sky after noticing the exchange of glances between Merlin and Gwaine “Because I love to see the lust pass over your face when you see me half naked, Princess” that said, Gwaine approached Arthur passed a thumb on his lips and then moved away heading towards his bed, not before having cast a glance at Merlin “And Merlin, if you want to touch I'm not complaining” he said seasoning everything with a flirtatious wink.  
“You are so shameless Gwaine, put on some clothes and let Merlin be, before I come there to shut your mouth once for all” Arthur said sarcastically “I know many ways with which you could shut my mouth”  
“It will never happen” answered Arthur entering the bathroom and closing the door behind him “You can't blame a man for trying”.

After a few minutes Arthur came out of the bathroom, also with only a towel tied around his waist, casting a pleased look at Gwaine who, in the meantime, had put on his boxers and was lying on the bed with his arms behind his head.  
Looking at the two men in the room, Merlin wondered how he had suddenly found himself in a gay erotic dream.

Noticing Merlin eyes on him, Arthur turned his back on the dark haired man and, very nonchalantly, dropped the towel on the floor, remaining completely naked, and calmly, wore a pair of briefs.  
Merlin's eyes almost popped out of their sockets, and he could feel his blood moving rapidly to his groin and that was suddenly too much “C-can I go?” stammered Merlin pointing to the bathroom door “Be my guest” replied Arthur with a crooked smile “And relax” added Gwaine nodding at Merlin’s erection quite visible through his tight jeans.  
Merlin ran to the bathroom grumbling a “You bastards” before closing the door and lean against it.  
A week, how could he last a week in a room with two guys so damn hot?  
The sound of Arthur and Gwaine’s laughter came loud and clear from the other side of the door "Come on Merlin, it was a joke" said Gwaine slamming a hand on the door "If I haven't known the Princess for 8 years, I would also have an erection every time he shows himself like that"  
"Yes Merlin, don't get mad at us" added Arthur laughing "If I didn't know certain things about Gwaine, I might as well think about letting myself be persuaded to spend a night with him".  
From inside the bathroom Merlin smiled, those two bastards had fun torturing him just for the sake of seeing him embarrassed "Well" Merlin said to himself "Two can play the game”.

Merlin slipped under water, and rested his head against the cold surface of the shower.  
He let his hand run to his chest, he drawled his finger over a nipple, while his other hand worked his cock slowly, savoring every moment, the flesh growing hot and hard in his grip.  
He continued to rub his nipples, right one, left one, alternating the circular motion with a gentle pinch “Oh God” he whispered shifting and spreading his legs.  
He let his hand wander lower to cup his balls, the heel of his hand rubbing the soft skin there.  
"Fuck, guys I wish you were both here” moaned Merlin and then grinned, hearing a loud thud on the other side of the door “Merlin, is everything okay?”  
“Oh A-Arthur, keep-keep talking, mmmh your voice is so sexy”  
Merlin put down the palm of one hand against the wall to brace himself as he wanked his cock furiously, fast, fast and hard, racing for the pleasure.  
“Shit” Arthur muttered from outside the bathroom.  
Merlin convulsed, biting down hard on his palm as he spilled, hot and slick, into his hand.   
Spent, he sank down the shower wall, water washing away the evidence his orgasm.  
A few minutes passed “Merlin, is everything okay in there?” asked Arthur leaning on the closed door, no reply.  
“Merlin?” he tried again, still no reply.  
“What if we killed him? Maybe he got a heart attack jerking off, I read that it could happen” said Gwaine reaching Arthur.  
Both boys clung to the door, trying to hear some noise inside, then it suddenly opened and Merlin came out wearing only a pair of black boxers that perfectly wrapped his ass and his still quite hard cock “Holy Mother of God” exclaimed Gwaine gluing his eyes to the black fabric.  
Merlin turned around drying his hair with a towel and with an innocent face replied “If you want to touch I'm not complaining” Gwaine laughed “You are a fast learner”   
“My mum always said that I’m a smart one”.

During this exchange of words, Arthur remained silent: Merlin's body had changed a lot in nine years, he was no longer thin and bony, but slender and well-sculpted.

Taking advantage of Merlin’s distraction, Arthur's eyes continued to wander along the lines of his body: the V line, that disappeared under the elastic of the boxers, the low abs, the pectorals, the shoulders, the line of the neck, the soft spot between it and the jaw where it was possible to hear the heartbeat, the chin, the angular cheekbones and those plump red lips.  
Arthur remembered those lips closed around his cock, in the gym locker room at school and a loud moan escaped him “Arthur, are you ok?” Merlin voice shook him from his thoughts “Y-yes, we have to get dressed or we will be late and Morgana will kill me” that said the Pendragon walked to his bed, where he had already prepared the clothes for the evening, trying to stop the blood that was too quickly traveling south.

* * *

The pub they chose wasn't a posh and fancy place: it was cozy, warm, with wood furniture.  
The wall opposite the entrance was covered in old vinyl disk covers; there was a soft light that made the atmosphere romantic and a folk-rock music was played through the speakers.  
For a moment Merlin felt himself home again, that place was quite similar at the pub where he used to go in Belfast, the same pub where he had met Ian.  
The same Ian that had left him when he needed him more, disappearing and erasing him from his life after 3 years of relationship.  
The thought of his ex boyfriend made him shiver, he shook his head noticing just then that Lancelot had asked him a question   
“Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts”  
“We all noticed that” Lance replied with a grin”I just said I found a place.  
come on, the others are already seated”.  
The two went to the large round table where the others were already seated.  
Merlin ended up sitting facing the entrance with Arthur on his right and Gwaine on his left “Entering I noticed billiards, would you like to play a game later?” Arthur asked, receiving a yes from the whole group.

The food arrived shortly after and everyone began to eat, chatting about everything and nothing “Guys, now that I think about it, we are all named after the characters of the Arthurian legends and we are eating at a round table.  
Can it be more ridiculous?” Gwen asked, provoking the laughter of others   
“Oh my God, you are right! Now that you make me think about it: we have King Arthur,” Morgana said, pointing to her brother “His wife, Queen Guinevere; Sir Lancelot, the bravest and noblest of all the knights as well as lover of the king's wife”  
“If I had been straight, you wouldn't have been able to take my queen away so easily” said Arthur laughing “Oh I think I would have chosen Lancelot anyway” replied Gwen printing a kiss on the cheek of her boyfriend.  
“We also have Sir Gwaine, the strength in the trio with courage and magic; and speaking about magic we have no less than Merlin, the greatest sorcerer who ever walked on these lands and, according to indiscreet sources of the time, King Arthur’s lover” continued Morgana “And then there is me, Morgana, the darkness of Merlin's light”  
“Leon and Parsifal, they too were knights of Camelot” Merlin added   
“If someone believes in these things, we could almost think of reincarnation” Gwaine said, suppressing a laugh.

* * *

Dinner went on quietly; Gwaine asked Arthur to take the toothpick out of his burger and brandish it as if it were Excalibur, earning the aforementioned toothpick planted in his arm.  
After eating, the group moved to the pool area and started a "Tournament to the death”.  
The first round was almost over, when Gwen and Morgana approached Merlin from behind, resting their heads on his shoulders “Merlin, darling” began Morgana “The bartender has been staring at you since you started playing” continued Gwen “And it is not a chaste look, it is more a “I’m undressing you with my mind” kind of look” concluded Morgana.

Merlin freed himself from the grip of the two girls and, with greatest discretion, turned to meet the gaze of the bartender who smiled at him.  
He was a good-looking man, more or less at the same age, maybe a year or two older; he was tall, ripped, with squared jaw, light blue eyes and shoulder length wavy reddish hair.

The raven quickly looked away and pretended to focus again on the game “You should go for it” Morgana said, raising her voice to be heard by Arthur, not too far from her “I don't know... I don't feel ready yet”  
“Merlin, I know you're not ready for a relationship, but neither of us said you have to propose.  
You have just to go and say hi and, if you are lucky you will spend the next hour with your face buried in his groin” insisted Gwen “Gwen… no” replied Merlin serious “Merls, Ian left you six months ago and all you did was lock yourself at home and cry!”   
“Sorry if I was too worried about my mother's health and then too scared of being left alone in the world after her death, to looking for a fuck buddy!” Merlin snapped looking at the girl in the eye.  
Merlin grabbed the jacket, left on the back of the chair, slipped it on and left the Pub, leaving behind the worried “Merlin wait, I'm sorry” of Gwen.

Arthur, who had observed the exchange between the two, came forward “Leave him, I'll go. I have some experience on the subject” Morgana smiled at him “See you at home” said that Arthur took his jacket and went out in search of Merlin.  
He found him standing close to a street lamp waiting for a taxi "Go away, Arthur,   
I want to be alone“ wispered Merlin seeing the other appear by his side on the road “Let’s go home” Arthur said simply, placing a hand on Merlin’s shoulder and inviting him to walk with him.  
The two walked in silence until they reached the cottage and it was only when they reached the entrance that Arthur spoke again “Come on, there is something I want to show you” the Pendragon reached to Merlin’s hand and guided him through the garden, to a little more private and hidden spot.

When they stopped, Merlin found himself near a small pond, surmounted by a large weeping willow, with a stone bench underneath and something else, not identifiable for the lack of light. "Come on" Arthur said, heading towards the bench.  
Once seated, Arthur lit two large candles placed near them and finally Merlin managed to focus on the unknown shape: a tombstone “Arthur?” he asked squeezing the other’s hand, still firmly tightened to his “My mother... she died when I was 10”  
“I didn't know”  
“Just a few know it.  
It's not something I like to talk about, I can't stand the looks” Arthur paused and took a deep breaths “You can't stand le looks of pity that everyone reserves you when something like this happens” Merlin concluded passing his thumb on the back of the other's hand without meeting his gaze   
“Yes”  
“I miss her every day” said Merlin getting a little closer to Arthur, who put an arm around his shoulders “Me too, and don't believe those who tell you that with time will get better.  
You will never stop missing her”.  
Merlin rested his head on Arthur's shoulder and remained silent until the lights of the house came on, indicating that the others had returned “We should get back inside” said Arthur resting his chin on Merlin’s head “Just another 5 minutes”.  
The fresh air of early autumn, slipped under Merlin’s jacket making him shiver   
“You're freezing, come on, it’s time to come back inside” that said, Arthur gave him a kiss on the forehead and stood up, heading towards the house, without looking back to see if Merlin was following him.  
The latter, caught off-guard by the gesture, waited several minutes before getting up and follow him inside the house.  
Once inside, Merlin was immediately assaulted by a bone-crushing hug, by Gwen “Sorry, sorry, sorry, Merlin, I am an awful friend” said the girl holding him tightly “Gwn, C-n’t breath”  
“Oh sorry” Gwen replied letting him go “Better” said Merlin breathing deeply “You are not an awful friend Gwen, you are the best.  
I know you are worried about me, about the story of my mother, Ian and my fragile stability, but I promise you that, before doing something stupid I will talk to you”  
“Thanks” the girl hugged him again in and then give him a kiss on the cheek before heading to her bedroom.

* * *

Merlin woke up in the morning because of Gwaine's loud snoring; Arthur's bed was already empty, so he wondered what time it was.  
Stretching himself, he pulled out his phone, tucked under the pillow: 7 am, breakfast time.  
Once he got rid of his pajamas, Merlin dug into the suitcase in search of his clothes for the day.  
Morgana had talked about a walk in the woods, so he chose a pair of light blue jeans and a cream-colored turtleneck sweater, then headed for the bathroom to comb his hair and put on his contact lenses.  
Since he was a child, Merlin had to wear glasses, more for the frequent headaches than for real vision problems, however, the transition to contact lenses had taken place in the early years of high school, when he was tired of having to repair his glasses every week due to the constant attention of the bullies.  
The glasses had returned to their place on his nose, only during university and since then it had been an alternation between them and the lenses.  
“I can't believe it” Merlin grumbled when, opening the lens box, he found them completely dry and unusable.  
Still grumbling, he left the bathroom, looking for the spare lenses that must have been in the suitcase but they weren’t there “This must be a joke” he said to himself, grabbing the case of his glasses and then opening it and wearing them.  
Adjusting the frame better on his nose, Merlin went down the stairs toward the kitchen.

He was almost there when Arthur's voice came clear from the half-open door.  
“On the forehead, Morgana! I kissed him on the forehead like an old grandma! could that be more pathetic?”  
“Arthur, dear, breathe. I'm sure Merlin didn't think of that gesture as pathetic”.  
Realizing that the two siblings were talking about him, Merlin decided to enter “Morgana is absolutely right.  
I didn't find it pathetic at all, to be honest, I found it rather sweet and it surprised me that it came from you.   
Even if you've been having a really good time surprising me lately.  
Oh, are those eggs and bacon? I can have some?” That said, Merlin sat down at the table and started having breakfast, without paying attention to Arthur's shocked, and quite red, face.  
“Good morning Merlin, did you sleep well?” Morgana asked stifling a laugh “Wonderfully”  
“Since when do you wear glasses?” Arthur asked, noticing the black frame on Merlin's face “As long as I can remember”  
“But I've never seen you with them”  
“I never wore them in high school because I was tired of constantly breaking them ... You know, being constantly bumped into lockers doesn't help to keep an eyeglass frame intact” concluded Merlin drinking a sip of orange juice “You should wear them more often, they look good on you” Arthur replied blushing, before sitting down at the table for breakfast.   
“Good morning” said Lancelot, entering the kitchen, followed by Gwen who, seeing Merlin exclaimed “Uuuh nerd Merlin is back!”  
“He never left, I always wear something nerd, you know it” replied Merlin smiling “Tell me you haven't worn the Star Wars briefs anymore after the last time inconvenience”  
“No, after that time I limited myself to socks. It was too embarrassing” Merlin blushed at the memory “Now I want to know the story” said Lancelot curiously.  
Merlini looked menacingly at Gwen “Don’t” he threatened her “Oh come on Merls, it’s too funny”  
“It’s embarrassing”   
“Pleeease Merlin” Lance insisted  
“Okay, go ahead and tell them, Gwen, ruin my reputation forever” Merlin said, hiding his face in his arms on the table  
" So, Merlin and I were at a party and a very good looking boy approached him and, after dancing a little, they left together.  
Once back home I tried to do as much silence as possible so as not to disturb them.  
I had just arrived at my room's door when from Merlin's door I heard a laugh accompanied by a 'Sorry, you are amazing but those briefs, are a totally turn down, I cant get hard' "  
Merlin sighed "The moment was ruined, so I took him back to the door but, before leaving ,the moron smirked at me and said ‘May the force be with you’” Merlin concluded with a sigh and everyone in the room burst out laughing.

After breakfast, the group gathered in the living room, ready to leave for the excursion  
“Mrning” Gwaine stammered, appearing at the bottom of the stairs and rubbing his face.  
“Merlin, be a good boy and kiss Gwaine, please” Morgana said nonchalantly, everyone's eyes shift to Merlin “Why him?” asked Arthur, trying to hide the annoyance in his voice “Why not him?”  
“You can't force people to kiss other people, Morgana” continued Arthur getting up from the sofa to move between Merlin and Gwaine.

“Is there a particular reason why the idea of Merlin kissing Gwaine annoys you?” replied Morgana with a smirk “You are unbelievable!”   
“And you are a prat”  
“Witch”  
“Coward”

Tired of the squabble, Merlin rolled his eyes and with a gesture moved Arthur to the side, placing himself in front of the two siblings “For fuck sake, Stop it! You look like two spoiled brats.   
I will do it, after all I was forced to do worse” Merlin looked pointedly at Arthur, who looked down embarrassed.  
Then Merlin turned to Morgana “And you; stop trying to manipulate everyone! It's not nice and it's not fair” said that, Merlin took Gwaine's face in his hands and gave him a quick kiss.  
waking up, Gwaine ran his hands around Merlin's hips and pulled him deeper into the kiss.  
Merlin responded by biting Gwaine's lower lip slightly and then he broke away with a smirk "He seems quite awake to me"  
"Oh, you can bet on it! We're pretty awake now" replied Gwaine, with a mischievous look, without doing anything to hide his tented sweatpants, Arthur snorted. 


	4. Is this the end... or a new beginning?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is about to come to an end ... or maybe it has just really begun

The woods around the Pendragon house seemed to have come out of a fairy tale: the trees were thick, with twisting branches and leaves already marked by the first colors of autumn.  
A small path that started from the back of the house and crossed the whole garden connected the property with the tree line where a wooden gate prevented access to anyone who did not have a key.  
The group, after reaching the gate, entered the woods, ferociously led by little Aithusa, tied to her pretty pink rhinestone leash, firmly held in Arthur's hands.  
Morgana had given him permission, or rather had ordered him, to take the beast for a walk, making sure that nothing happened to her.  
"You look very manly with this dog and his leash, Princess" Gwaine said before slowing down to put an arm around Merlin's shoulders.

The gesture, however, did not please the little dog who began to bark and growl to Gwaine "Aithusa stop!" Arthur ordered her, but the animal continued undaunted until Merlin, freed from Gwaine's grip, crouched down to caress her behind the ears "Are you calmer now little girl?" he said getting a happy bark in response.  
"You know you're not bad after all" Arthur whispered to Aithusa, taking care not to be overheard by Merlin who, after the episode, had abandoned Gwaine and continued walking, a little closer to Arthur and the dog.

It took almost an hour to reach the destination: a clearing with soft grass, wild flowers, a beautiful waterfall and picnic tables.  
The group grabbed one of the tables near the waterfall, which was a little further away than the others that were already occupied by other people.  
After arranging everything needed for lunch, Gwen and Morgana went back into the woods for a little walk; Lancelot, Gwaine and Arthur pulled out a soccer ball and began to play.  
Merlin instead took out the fleece blanket he had brought and, after spreading it out in a spot in the sun, pulled out his computer and started writing some of the ideas he had come up with for his book.

When Gwen had joked the night before that they were all characters from Arthurian legends, the perfect plot had appeared in her mind.  
The names and the setting would have remained the original ones, but the old wizard Merlin, would have been more or less the same age as King Arthur and everything would have taken place in a period of time between Arthur still prince and his death in Camlan.  
With all the ideas he had in mind at the time, Merlin was almost certain that a single book would not be enough.

> \---- _No young man, no matter how great, can know his destiny._  
>  _He cannot glimpse his part in the great story that is about to unfold._  
>  _Like everyone, he must live and learn._  
>  _And so it will be for the young warlock arriving at the gates of Camelot. A boy that will, in time, father the legend._  
>  _His name: Merlin._  
>  _Entering Camelot, Merlin found himself in the central square, which was packed with people, gathered around a pyre._  
>  _From the top of the balcony, King Uther was speaking “Let this serve as a lesson to all. This man, Thomas James Collins, is judged guilty of conspiring to use enchantments and magic. And, pursuant to the laws of Camelot, I, Uther Pendragon, have decreed that such practices are banned on penalty of death. I pride myself as a fair and just king, but for the crime of sorcery there is but one sentence I can pass” that said the king gave the signal and the pyre was lit; the king continued: “When I came to this land, this kingdom was mired in chaos, but with the people's help magic was driven from the realm. So I declare a festival to celebrate twenty years since the Great Dragon was captured and Camelot freed from the evil of sorcery. Let the celebrations begin”._  
>  _Suddenly, a woman's voice rose from the crowd “There is only one evil in this land, and it is not magic! It is you! With your hatred and your ignorance! You killed my son! But I promise you, before these celebrations are over, you will share my tears. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a son for a son"_  
>  _“Seize her!” shouted the king, but the woman cast a spell and disappeared in a gust of wind---_

“What are you writing?” Merlin jumped at hearing Arthur's voice directly in his ear.  
Merlin jumped taken aback “Emm ... I'm working on my book.  
What Gwen said at the pub last night helped me develop a new plot” said Merlin while Arthur sat next to him “Tell me something more. Nobody has ever written a book about me”  
Merlin rolled his eyes “It's not about you, dollop head.  
I took the names and settings of the old legends but in my story Merlin is the same age as King Arthur and he works as his servant trying not to let his magic be discovered, as having magic in Camelot is equivalent to death”  
“And why is it equivalent to death?” Arthur asked, intrigued “I don't know yet, I'm working on a plausible motivation” Merlin answered scratching his forehead thoughtfully.

Arthur turned his whole body towards the other man “I know why”  
“Enlighten me”  
“Arthur isn't king yet in your story right? So there is still his father on the throne” Merlin nodded “King Uther is against magic because it has taken away the most precious thing he had: his wife, dead giving birth to Arthur.  
Unable to have children, King Uther had turned to a priestess of the Old Religion, you will found her a name, which had hidden to him that to bring a new life on earth an other had to be taken.  
In legends Arthur is conceived through magic, so it would also make sense” concluded the Pendragon.   
Merlin stared at him for a few seconds “It would fit.  
But King Arthur's mother, the story is too similar to…”  
“My mother's story, I know” Arthur said, lowering his eyes.  
“Are you sure I can use her story?”  
“If it's you that's fine, I know you will honor her” Merlin raised a hand and placed it on Arthur's cheek, wiping a tear with his thumb “It would be an honor to have her in my story”.  
Arthur leaned on Merlin's hand and closed his eyes, bathing in the sensation “Merlin” he whispered and his eyes rested on Merlin's lips.  
Their eyes met and time seemed to stop.  
Slowly the two leaned more and more towards each other, Merlin's hand still firmly on Arthur's cheek, who lifted his to put it on Merlin’s neck.  
“There's something I want to say..” whispered Arthur, stroking the hair at the base of Merlin's neck  
“Tell me”  
“I want to say...something I've never said to you before..”  
Merlin looked straight into Arthur's eyes and waited for him to say something.  
Arthur took a deep breath and rested his forehead against Merlin's.  
“Arthur come on! Let's resume the game before the girls come back!” shouted Lancelot coming running with the ball under his arm.  
Merlin's hand suddenly left its place on Arthur's face, who let out a groan of disappointment “Go, they are waiting for you” Merlin said returning to his writing, the moment between them now ruined “Ok, but we need to talk” Arthur stood up and returned to his friends, leaving Merlin to his writing.

* * *

After lunch the group took a couple of hours to rest, before venturing along the path that led to the top of the waterfall.  
Merlin had just started writing one of the most iconic moments in his novel: the meeting between Prince Arthur and Merlin the warlock.  
He had written and rewritten the exchange of words between the two, without obtaining anything convincing.  
Discouraged, he let his gaze wander across the clearing and then fixed it on Arthur, who was resting with Aithusa at his side.  
Like a flash, the first meeting between him and Arthur came back to his mind and before he knew it he was already writing:

> _\--- The first meeting between the prince and the warlock, happened when the latter was returning from one of his delivery rounds for Gaius, the court physician._   
>  _Prince Arthur was enjoying his morning, together with his friends, throwing knives at a wooden shield, carried by a poor servant, who was forced to run in circles, for the fun of the noble boys._   
>  _After a few laps, the servant tripped and shield rolled to Merlin, who stopped it wit his foot_   
>  _"Hey, come on, that's enough"_   
>  _"What?" asked the prince " You've had your fun, my friend"._   
>  _The prince approached the warlock "Do I know you?" Merlin reached out his hand "I'm Merlin" Arthur ignored him "So I don't know you"_   
>  _"No"_   
>  _"Yet you called me friend" the warlock smirked "That was my mistake"_   
>  _"Yes, I think so" the prince replied_   
>  _"Yeah. I'd never have a friend who could be such an ass"._   
>  _Merlin turned to leave but Arthurs's words stopped him "Or I one who could be so stupid ..._   
>  _Tell me, Merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?" the warlock turned to look at the prince "No"_   
>  _"Would you like me to help you?"_   
>  _"I wouldn't if I were you"_   
>  _"Why? What are you going to do to me?"_   
>  _"You have no idea"_   
>  _"Be my guest! Come on! Come on! Come ooon"_   
>  _Merlin pounced on the prince with all his might, trying to hit him with a punch in the face but the latter, with a fluid and elegant movement, obtained with years of training, grabbed his hand and turned his arm behind his back.---_

Merlin stopped writing for a moment; the first meeting between him and Arthur had gone more or less in the same way: It was one of the first days of high school and Merlin was returning to his classroom after the break, when he saw a group of boys pull paper balls in a basket, held over another boy’s head who, red from the effort, was running up and down not to miss a single one.  
When he tripped, the basket had rolled to Merlin’s feet who had confronted the pack leader, Arthur, with the same words used by his alter ego in the novel, getting as a result a sore arm, a complaint from the headmaster and 4 years of harassment.

Merlin barely had time to save his work, that a small ball of white fur landed on his legs making the computer shut down “Merlin! Tell me that you had saved” Arthur said coming running to retrieve the little beast   
“Yes, don't worry.  
It's a fairly old computer, I'm used to save often so as not to lose all my hard work” Merlin laughed “Can I sit with you?” asked Arthur, obtaining a nod from Merlin.

Aithusa took advantage of the situation to position herself comfortably with her body between the Pendragon’s crossed legs, and her head resting on Merlin's thighs, which began to lazily scratch her ears.  
The two remained silent, fully enjoying each other's company.  
If someone had said to Merlin, a few years ago, that he would find himself one day sitting with Arthur Pendragon in a large meadow with a dog on theirs legs, without screams, insults and shoving, he would have laughed.  
Now, however, in the tranquility of the early afternoon, nothing seemed more appropriate.

Continuing to caress the little dog, Arthur's hand ended up over Merlin's and he left it there, until Merlin turned, smiled at him and laced their fingers.

Suddenly the trill that indicates the arrival of an Instagram notification, broke the silence of the place.  
Merlin with his free hand pulled the device out of his pocket and so did Arthur.  
On his Doctor who wallpaper, In a small box, the words "Gwen Smith tagged you in her story" stood out.  
Merlin opened the notification, finding himself in front of a photo of him and Arthur hand in hand, clearly taken a few moments before, with a sticker saying "cuteness overload".

His phone vibrated again with a new notification: "Arthur Pendragon asked to follow you", Merlin accepted with an amused grin.  
His expression changed abruptly, however, when he remembered something very important.  
Merlin got up quickly and ran to Gwen “Gwen! Please tell me you blocked Ian on Instagram”   
“Absolutely”  
“So you’ve blocked Gilli to?”  
“Oh”  
“Fuck!” said Merlin hiding his face behind his hands “Maybe he didn't see it and we have time to cancel it!”.  
The girl unlocked her phone and checked the views of her story “Sorry Merlin, It’s too late” she said in a disheartened tone.  
Merlin sat down, raised his knees to his chest and, after hiding his face, let out a moan. "Merlin honey, even if Ian found out where you are and what you're doing, it's not a problem.  
He was the one who broke up with you, you should be able to do what you want an be with who you want, without care about his judgment” Gwen said crouching down in front of Merlin and gently stroking his hair.  
Merlin looked up “Thanks Gwen”  
“You're welcome, sweet heart.  
Now cheer up.  
Morgana and I have found a beautiful place, and be sure that I will do other Instagram stories, just to show to that asshole of your ex boyfriend, that my best friend is much better without him and his shit” that said, Gwen reached out an hand, and Merlin used it to get up.

* * *

Later that night, Merlin found himself tossing and turning in his bed.  
Gwen was right, he didn't have to worry about Ian and his judgment, but he couldn't help it.  
After breaking up with his ex-boyfriend, Merlin had cut him off from his life, blocking him on any social media and even blocking his phone number.  
He was not proud of this childish behavior and more than once, in the previous six months, he had thought about coming back and leaving Ian at least a way to contact him but he just couldn't find the courage.  
His desire to close forever with his past life was too strong.  
Merlin turned again and suddenly found himself in front of a pair of sleepy blue eyes.

“What’s wrong Merlin?” Arthur asked, yawning.  
“My head won't let me rest”  
“Come here” the Pendragon said, lifting the covers and patting the mattress  
“Arthur, I don't think it’s-“  
“I said come here”.  
Trying to do as quietly as possible so as not to wake Gwaine, Merlin came down from his bed and slipped under the covers next to Arthur, looking at the ceiling.  
Arthur turned on his side to look at him “Is it about Ian?”  
Merlin nodded "Do you want to talk about it?”  
“I don't know”  
“Come on, an external opinion always helps”  
“It’s strange to talk to you about these things…”  
Merlin turned his head slightly to look at Arthur who said “I know, I feel strange too” .  
Turning his head to look at the ceiling, Merlin began “After doing this” he said raising both wrists “I started attending a support group.  
There I met Gilli, Ian's younger brother, he too had tried to end his life by cutting his wrists and for this little twisted reason, we immediately became good friends.  
Usually Gilli's mother came to pick him up after the meetings, but one day, due to a problem at work, she couldn't come.  
I offered to take him home, after all he wasn't too far from mine.  
It was Ian, Gilli’s older brother, who opened the door for us when we arrived and, like a giant cliché, it was love at first sight.  
He was five years older than me and after months of coming out all three together, Ian asked me out on a date and It was perfect.  
He was so sweet, caring but above all he fully understood what I had been through and was passing.  
Ian was all my first things, my whole world revolved around him and thanks to him I was no longer afraid to be alone.  
We have been together for years.  
Then, about seven months ago, Gilli attempted suicide again.  
Ian and I had returned from a movie date and found him half dead in the living room, he had taken too many pills.  
Few more minutes and he would have died.  
Gilli had been well for years and none of us expected a relapse.  
A month later my mother got worse and I was doomed to see see how her light became weaker and her body consumed by illness” Merlin sighed deeply and, wiping his tears with the palm of his hand, turned on his side, facing Arthur “It's okay” he whispered stroking Merlin's back with small circular movements.

"The day she died I tried to contact Ian, I needed to have him by my side ... he didn't answer me.  
The day of her funeral I waited for him in front of the church and then at the cemetery.  
He never showed up.  
I kept looking for him and he never bothered to answer or call back, and I let myself be overcome by sadness again.  
I took a train without knowing where I was going.  
I just turned off my phone and left.  
I stayed at a cottage in the Scottish highlands, in a village of 50 inhabitants and I always kept my phone switched off.  
After a week, coming home from the market, I found a car parked in front of the cottage door, it was Ian.  
Thanks to his work as a detective in the local police he was able to trace my movements.  
The journey was silent but, once we got home, I hadn’t yet closed the door when Ian took my wrist "Never do something like this again! you understand! "he shouted  
"How dare you come looking for me, after disappearing when I needed you most," I yelled back.  
Ian looked me straight in the eyes before saying: “I can't look after another possible suicide, I already have my brother to think about and he is my family …"  
“I thought I was your family too”  
“I had fun with you, but you are too much for me to handle” he said wile I watched him go out the door” concluded Merlin  
“What a dollophead” Arthur said to ease the tension.

Merlin let out a snort, halfway between amused and relieved, the warm breath tickled Arthur's neck “ I know he tried to contact me again, the old lady to whom I sold the house, told me that a man asked about me a couple of days ago.  
And now that Gilli has seen Gwen's story, I know it's only a matter of time before Ian comes knocking on my door, awakening old Merlin and his fears”.  
Arthur dragged Merlin closer to himself “Hey, don't think, not even for a moment, that you'll be alone.  
You have Gwen, you have Lancelot, you have our friends and, for what it's worth you also have me”  
“It is worth a lot” whispered Merlin in the hollow of Arthur’s neck “Now sleep, I promise you that if Ian shows up, I'll be there with you”.  
Merlin turned on the opposite side, letting his back stick to Arthur's front, spooning.  
Merlin chuckled “You won't be able to watch me 24/7” he whispered before falling asleep “I can and I will” Arthur muttered in Merli's hair, before intertwining their fingers.

* * *

The rest of the week passed peacefully between picnics, excursions, board games and alcohol games.  
The latter ended with a rather drunk Gwaine attempting to slip into Merlin's bed and being disappointed to find it empty.  
After the first time, in fact Merlin had spent the rest of the nights in bed with Arthur, spooning with him.

The return to reality was like a sudden awakening after a beautiful dream.  
Arthur found himself at the Med with long shifts full of visits and surgical operations; Merlin, on the other hand, after having finished the first seven chapters of his book and having sent them to his publisher, obtaining positive feedback; had split his time between the writing of the eighth chapter, entitled: "The Beginning of the End" in which a young druid enters illegally in Camelot and the sorcerer Merlin decides to protect him at all costs even if Killgharrah, the great dragon, advises him otherwise since the child will be the one who will kill King Arthur; and his job at the coffee shop.  
He was tired, so tired that he didn't see the thin layer of ice on the sidewalk and slide on it.  
Because of this, Merlin found himself in the Camelot Med waiting room, with a cast in his arm, waiting for Gwen to come and retrieve him.

Arthur had just finished his shift when, passing in front of the waiting room, noticed a familiar face “What the hell happened to your arm!?” He asked approaching Merlin and checking for other possible injuries “I am the most clumsy person in the world” he answered this with a shrug.  
“I know it, watching you move is like watching a small deer take its first steps, over and over again”  
“Ah ah ah, very funny, Arthur.  
Anyway: I had just finished my turn in the coffee shop and was leaving when, due to the freezing temperature this morning, I came across the most slippery floor I'd ever encountered.  
You can deduce the rest for yourself.”  
“You are always the same”  
“I can't change what I am”  
“I don't want you to change”.  
Merlin's eyes widened and he blushed embarrassed “Em, Gwen should recover me soon.  
Go home, you've just finished a shift and from your face I can guess that you are dead tired”  
“There's need to bother Gwen, I will call her and then I’ll accompany you home”.  
After talking to Gwen and having Merlin sign the hospital papers, Arthur headed for the parking lot, closely followed by the other boy.

In seeing the fiery red car, Merlin's eyes opened in surprise “Is this your car?” Arthur smiled smugly “Yes Merlin, do you like it?”  
“He asks me if I like it! You almost hit me the first day I arrived in New York! You ass!” said Merlin punching him in the arm “Oh my God! Was it you?”  
“Yeah, you royal prat! Didn't they teach you in driving school that, when the traffic light is red, you have to stop?” Merlin waved his hands, or better: the healthy one, to emphasize the scolding.  
Arthur scratched the base of his neck embarrassed “I know, sorry.  
My father had called me and every minute of delay with him are hours of screams… I was alf asleep to and-“  
“Ok, ok, I forgive you” said Merlin rolling his eyes.

* * *

After Arthur parked the car near the entrance of the building, Merlin got out and approached the door frantically looking for his keys inside his backpack “Here they are!” he said triumphant, turning to look at Arthur, just in time to see a car darting on the asphalt, entering a puddle (more like a lake because of its size) and flooding the other man with dirty water from head to toe.  
“Fuck it!” Arthur exclaimed “Is, is everything all right?” Merlin asked slowly, trying not to burst out laughing.  
“Don’t you dare laugh or I swear to God I will come there and throw you in the same puddle, plaster or not plaster” threatened the Pendragon.  
Merlin hid a laugh by covering his mouth with his good hand and then he put the keys in the door opening it.  
“I can't go in like that, I'd leave mud prints everywhere” said Arthur, stopping at the entrance of the building.  
“Don't worry, just take off your shoes.  
I'll give you a change of clothes as soon as we arrive at my apartment” that said Merlin slipped into the lift and, together with Arthur, went up to the apartment.

Once inside Merlin turned to Arthur “Take off those wet clothes and wait for me in the bathroom I'll bring you a towel” that said Merlin headed for his bedroom’s door, leaving Arthur all the privacy to undress, and after a few minutes, he reappeared holding a fiery red towel.  
He knocked on the door and Arthur opened it wearing only a pair of briefs “Don't ask me why I have a towel on this color, but I think it will suit you” Merlin said with a smile, before pushing it to Arthur’s chest “Take all the time you need to warm up.  
I’ll look for something of mine that can get into those so damn large and attractive shoulders, without making you look like a cheap version of Captain America” Merlin said before closing the door again.  
Arthur laughed from inside “Okay mom, but then you will go to bed and let your delicious and incredibly sexy, body rest.   
They put you in plaster, Merlin, for God's sake”.

Merlin rummaged in the closet for a while and pulled out a black hoodless sweatshirt and a pair of gray sweatpants.  
Then Merlin took them with him to the living room, ready to be passed on to Arthur as soon as the sound of the water in the shower stopped.

Suddenly someone knocked on the door.  
“Gwen, I'm coming!” Merlin walked to the entrance and opened it without looking through the peephole, after all who could be at his inner door at 9:00 pm if not his neighbor and best friend Gwen.

As soon as the door opened, revealing the person behind it, Merlin regretted not having checked who it was.  
“I finally found you” the blood froze in Merlin’s veins “I-Ian” Merlin stammered “Can I come in?” Ian asked leaning a hand on the door “I would rather not”  
“Please Merlin, I flew all the way here to talk to you …” the man insisted again trying to sneak into the house.  
“How did you find me?”  
“I'm a cop, Merlin, I know how to track down people” taking advantage of Merlin's moment of shock, Ian entered the house, closing the door behind him.  
Ian reached out to Merlin's shoulder, who found himself trapped between the wall and the other man “move away” Merlin hissed.  
The other man took another step closer but then, the bathroom’s door opened and Arthur came out, looking like a greek God, with steaming skin and wrapped only in the red towel, that Merlin had given him earlier.   
“Merlin, I can hear you move in the corridor, why aren't you in bed yet?” he said approaching the entrance and finally noticing the other man a few steps away from Merlin.  
Despite the situation, Merlin was pleased to see Ian's face twist into a grimace.  
It wasn't hard to imagine how the unwanted guest could have understood the situation, usually when someone, fresh out of the shower and still half naked, asks you why you're not in bed yet, it only means one thing: sex  
“Sorry, who would you be?” asked Arthur planting his eyes in those of Ian with a look of defiance.  
Merlin took the opportunity to move away from the wall and stand between the two “Arthur he is Ian and he was leaving” he said trying to push Ian out of the door “So he is the wanker who left you when you needed hime the most”   
“Shout your mouth Barbie. I’m Merlin's boyfriend, I came to take him home” that said Ian put a hand, possessively on Merlin's shoulder, who moved away as if burned by the touch.  
With a lightning movement Arthur grabbed Merlin from behind, wrapping him with both arms and pulled him against his chest “Strange, the last time I checked I was this beautiful man’s boyfriend and this was his home” he said, letting a hand slip under Merlin's shirt, and closing it on his hips in a possessive way.  
Seeing Ian's expression change from confused to angry, Merlin made a mental note to thank Arthur once they were alone.  
"I see you didn't take too long to move on, Merlin.  
I wonder what Hunith would say, if she could see what a slut her son became”  
Ian spat acid, Merlin stiffened and Arthur held him closer to himself.  
"You have no right to talk about my mother," Merlin whispered in a broken voice  
Arthur released Merlin and moved in front of him to confront Ian.  
His straight posture, broad shoulders and proud chest made him look almost like an ancient medieval knight, ready for battle.  
"Don't you dare ever again" Arthur began, towering over the other man "talking about Merlin in that way" he continued pushing Ian towards the door with one hand "I'm a policeman, you can't treat me like that" Ian replied, pushing away Arthur’s hands.  
The Pendragon did not give up and took the other man by the collar of his shirt. "I think you are several miles out of your jurisdiction" he said, releasing Ian and sending him stumbling out in the landing “Now sorry mate, but me and my boyfriend had plans before you interrupted and by plans I mean sex.  
So goodbye and to never again” that said Arthur closed the door on Ian's face, remaining silent to listen to the footsteps leaving the landing.

Merlin approached Arthur “Did you see his face? You were epic!” he said bursting into a loud laugh “How did you put up for years with a guy like that” asked Arthur “Oh, you know, it doesn't happen every day to find a boyfriend like you.   
You don't just have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, broad shoulders, sexy neck, a beautiful face and your lips, God Arthur, I could write an ode about your lips.  
You have also a kind personality and, I feel safe with you.  
If someone had told me nine years ago that I would have feelings for you, I would have laughed at them, but now, now I don't know what to think.  
You're not the same ass anymore and I think I'm falling for you and that scares me”

“Merlin, you have nothing to be afraid of.  
I fell for you before I even found out who I was.  
That day, in the locker room at school, Valiant was supposed to be in my place, but when I learned that the victim of the joke was you, I stepped forward to take his place"  
"Why?"   
"Because I had a massive crush on you and I was jealous!"  
"What?"  
"Yes, but I was so far deep in the closet that i never found the courage to confess it to you.  
Then they posted the photos, and you started hate me and I couldn't stop to hate me a little too, because you got so much under my skin that I could think of nothing but your lips and I couldn't afford it.  
So I started bullying you and that is my biggest regret.  
When I finally came to terms with who I am, I thought several times of looking for you, but I was too cowardly to do so.  
Then, as if by fate, I find you not only living in the same city as me, but also part of my group of friends and suddenly everything I felt then came back like a wave and now I can't help but notice how yours body moves, how your eyes sparkle when you talk about your books and how much I would like to feel, if only for a moment, your lips on me again”.  
Merlin stepped in Arthur's personal space and rested his lips on Arthur's collarbone leaving a trail of kisses from his ear to his shoulder “Oh God” Arthur murmured, moving his head slightly to give Merlin more access “You taste good” Merlin said, licking a spot on Arthur's collarbone and then stopped to bite affectionately on his shoulder, then up towards the neck, the jaw, the chin.  
With the tip of his nose, Merlin traced Arthur’s lips “If you want me to stop, tell me”  
“Don't even think about it”.  
Merlin ran both hands around Arthur's neck, making their lips meet in a frenetic kiss.  
Arthur's hands move from Merlin's chest to his back and then descend down to the rim of his shirt and below in search of a contact with his skin “Off” he said, breaking the kiss to remove the t-shirt and then sighed deeply at the sight of all that white skin.  
Starting from Merlin’s ear, he began to go down, leaving a damp trail up to the collarbone where he concentrated to leave a nice red mark “Mine” he growled.  
Merlin opened his legs a bit and Arthur put one of his in between and could feel that Merlin was as hard as he was.  
Both started rocking against each other's legs, mouth glued in a passionate kiss.  
Arthur ran his hands over Merlin’s front, his fingertips rubbed over his nipples and Merlin arched forward, ground on his body and rubbed his dick against Arthur's.  
Arthur moaned and threw his head back, eyes closed in ecstasy.  
Merlin resumed his exploration of Arthur's body;  
His tongue darted out and he licked and sucked one of Arthur's nipples wile running thumb over the other.  
Arthur became even harder when Merlin moved on to the other nipple, biting it and running his tongue over it again and again “Merlin… bed, please” Merlin grinned and taking Arthur by the towel led him to the bedroom.

Merlin dropped Arthur on the mattress, who started to fumbling frantically with the button of Merlin’s trousers to take them off.  
“Arthur wait!” Merlin said suddenly widening his eyes.  
Arthur pretended not to hear anything and finished pulling off his jeans, finding himself in front of a pair of briefs with lots of little Darth Vaders printed on them, the shape of Merlin’s hard cock, the only thing ruining the regularity of the pattern.  
“They are those, aren't they?” Arthur said smirking “This was the only clean pair! I still have to do the laundry okay?” Merlin complained letting his head fall on the mattress with desperation “Liar, you love these briefs isn't it?”  
“You're an ass”.  
Arthur raised Merlin's legs, placing himself in the middle, and began to kiss his inner thigh, slowly climbing upwards until he reached the elastic of the briefs.  
Taking the fabric between his teeth he lowered them, first on one side and then on the other, taking care, in the movement, to leave a trail of kisses on the dark’s belly.  
“Arthur” Merlin breathed when, with one last kiss on his cock’s head, Arthur removed his briefs and walking on all fours, reached him capturing his mouth and lightly licked his lower lip before letting his tongue enter.  
Merlin groaned from the depths of his throat and, with a rapid movement, reversed their position, sitting on the blonde’s crotch and resting his palms on his chest.  
“This needs to go” Merlin said and then yanked away the red towel wrapping a hand around Arthur’s cock, thick and wet at the tip.  
“Fuck, Merlin, you are wonderful” Arthur gasps and shudders “I want you in me Arthur”  
“Are you sure?”   
“Yes”  
Merlin reached for the bedside table to retrieve a bottle of lube and condoms and then shoved them back into Arthur’s hands, shifting down on the bed and spreading his legs open.   
Arthur crawled down and lowered himself between Merlin’s legs, squeezing some lube into his fingers.  
Slowly he reached between Merlin’s cheeks rubbing the pad of his finger over his hole  
“How are you?” he asked feeling Merlin's Muscles relax “Add another one” Merlin gasped at the intrusion and fucked himself down onto Arthur’s finger.  
“I want you” Merlin groaned “Be patient” Arthur said before putting in another finger.  
After a few minutes Arthur slipped his fingers out of Merlin’s hole and grabbed the bottle of lube laying on the bed.  
He putted on a condom adding some lube and slowly pushed in.  
Merlin was hot and tight around Arthur’s dick and It took all of Arthur’s self-control to not come right then and there.  
“Shit” Merlin said underneath him “Everything ok?”  
“ More than ok, you feel amazing. Move please” Arthur slowly pulled out and then pushed back in.   
The feeling was incredible, and Arthur had to bite back a moan.  
He kept up the rhythm for a few more thrusts “Faster, Arthur,” Merlin sighed and Arthur growled snapping his hips against Merlin’s, the skin on skin’s sound echoing through the whole room.  
Merlin came, calling Arthur’s name whit his ass squeed around Arthur’s dick.  
Arthur thrusted in two more times and then followed the other, gasping Merlin’s name quietly.

Merlin woke up the next morning, wrapped in Arthur’s arms, still fast asleep.  
The latter made a face when Merlin turned to look a

* * *

t him, but his eyes remained closed.  
Merlin smiled and reached out a slender finger and gently traced the outline of Arthur’s face: the forehead, the nose, the lips, the chin... and then stopped on his cheek.  
Suddenly a pair of blue eyes focused on his, watching him, still tarnished by sleep, through his blond eyelashes “Good morning” said Arthur rubbing his forehead against the sharp, angular bone of Merlin’s shoulder “Good morning to you” Merlin said Petting Arthur’s blond hair.  
Arthur sighed “How much time we waisted”   
“We can always recover” Merlin said trying to sit on Arthur’s lap, but due to Merlin's clumsiness, the arm with the plaster, ended up banging against Arthur's head “Ouch! Are you trying to kill me!?”   
“Sorry” Merlin hissed holding his breath to resist the sudden wave of pain which crossed his wrist.  
Arthur sat up, grabbed Merlin’s wrist and moved it slightly with expert hands “I think we have already scrambled enough your little wrist for today” he said getting out of bed.  
Merlin sat on the mattress and watched how the other man moved around the room “What are you doing?”  
“I'm going to take a shower”  
“Do you mind if I join”  
“I would be offended if you don't.  
But we must be careful to not wet the plaster so no sex”  
“Spoilsport” mumbled Merlin following Arthur to the bathroom.

After a very hot and steamy shower, Arthur and Merlin went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.  
“Go out with me” Arthur said suddenly, before turning yet another pancake “A date?”  
“Yes idiot! Hey!” Arthur complained when Merlin pricked him with a fork.  
Merlin, laughing, continued to tease him with the cutlery, until the Pendragon raised a spoon in a threatening way “Are you threatening me with a spoon?”.  
The sound with which the spoon hit the Merlin’s head, resounded throughout the apartment followed by a groan of pain.  
“So will you come on a date with me or not?”  
“Of course i will, you big softie” said Merlin grabbing Arthur's shirt collar and kissing him.  
“I am not a softie Merlin” Arthur complained, between kisses.  
“Yes you are”  
“No I am not”  
“Yes you are”  
“No I am not”  
“Yes.” A kiss “You.” Another kiss “Are”

* * *

“You know, I was expecting something more snobby “ said Merlin, sitting on the white and red checkered fleece blanket.   
“If you don't like it, I can still book somewhere else, I just thought it was more your kind of date ... But maybe I was wrong ... what did I think? Bring you to eat in a meadow, for our first date! What a fool” Arthur said panicking.  
Merlin put a hand on his cheek to stop him “Hey, it's perfect ok? I was just teasing you”  
“Sorry, I'm a little nervous” Arthur said, taking the other's hands and kissing them, then he turned around and took the food from the basket.  
“So Merlin, 10 questions?” asked Arthur “Could you be more cliché?”  
“Oh come one!”   
“Alright, start asking”  
“Favorite food?”  
“ Chocolate”  
“Favorite color?”  
“Green”  
“Your favorite place in the world?”  
“Home, in Belfast”  
“Dream job?”  
“You already know this ... Writer”  
“How would you describe yourself?”  
“Clumsy, funny, wise”   
“Day of your birthday?”  
“First of January”  
“What do you look for in a boy?”  
“Courage, sincerity and he must be a softie”  
Arthur pushed him playfully “ I'm not a softie, stop it!”  
“As you wish! Go one, you still have 3 questions”  
“Biggest fear?”  
“Being alone”  
“Favorite animal?”  
“Cat”  
“Tea or coffee?”  
“Tea.  
Now you, same questions”  
“Pizza; red; London; be a surgeon; stubborn and sincere; December 21st; I want a guy who makes me laugh and tell me to stay calm when I panic, someone whoo is not afraid to put me back at my place; my biggest fear is to disappoint the people I love; Dog and Coffee”

For most of the afternoon, Merlin and Arthur remained at the meadow, talking about various things.  
Merlin stretched out leaning his head on Arthur's legs, who began to caress his hair absently.  
Slowly the sun began to set and the temperature became colder so, after having recovered all their things, Arthur accompanied Merlin home “See you later Arthur” said the latter stretching out to leave a kiss on the other’s lips “Yes, see you later at the pub with the others” replied the Pendragon getting in the car.

* * *

Instead of going home, Arthur decided to visit his father, they need to talk, he had to accept that he was gay, especially now that he had found someone to share his life with.

Arriving at the front door of the villa, he took a deep breath and knocked.  
The door opened after a while, showing the austere figure of Uther “Arthur, I wasn't expecting you” Arthur entered and closed the door behind him.  
He followed his father to the living room “What brings you here?”  
“ I would like to tell you that I have found someone and that I like him very much, Father.  
I know you don't approve of my lifestyle and I'm not here to ask you to give me your blessing, I just wanted you to know it from me, and not from someone else: unfortunately for you, I'm finally happy” that said Arthur stood up to leave but his father grabbed him by the arm “Arthur wait. You're right I don't approve of what- who- you are.  
But I want to end this war with you, you're the only family I have and I can't stand to lose you, to lose the only thing that reminds me of my Ygraine.  
After our las meeting I thought a lot about what your mother would have said and I understood that she would have schooled me, she would have said : ‘Uther Pendragon, stop being an ass’ “  
“It sounds like someone I know” Arthur murmured with a fond smile “So, I know it will take me time to ... understand, but I'd like if you and?”  
“Merlin”  
“Merlin? Merlin and Arthur?” Uther smirked shaking his head.  
“I know, it’s like destiny” Arthur replied suppressing a smile “Well, I would like if you and Merlin, came to dinner here one of these times” concluded Uther “With great pleasure Father” replied Arthur “I’m glad” that said the old Pendragon reached out and embraced his son.

* * *

The first thing Merlin noticed entering the pub with Lance and Gwen was that Arthur was late.  
The second was that there were a new person seated at the table with his friends.  
Morgana was in fact talking, or rather questioning, a thin boy with brown and curly hair “Oh, here you are at last “ said Morgana seeing him coming.  
The new boy turned around, aiming two blue eyes at Merlin's, smiling feline “I'm Mordred, nice to meet you”  
“Merlin, nice to meet you too”.  
Everyone moved around the seats at the table and Merlin ended up next to the newcomer “What did you do to your arm? If I may ask” Mordred asked, placing a hand on the plaster “I fell, if you knew me you would know that I am rather clumsy”  
“I wouldn't have said that, you seem so slim and elegant” the boy’s gaze roamed appreciatively on the lines of Merlin and Morgana smirked.  
Merlin decided to pull out the phone to write Arthur: When will you arrive? There's a newcomer at our table and he is rather handsy and a little bit creepy.  
I would also like to tell our friends about us, so your sister and Gwen can stop to send my way every cute guy who pass by.  
Hurry up, I miss you! 

After a few minutes, as evoked by the message, Arthur entered the pub and marched towards the table, noticing immediately Mordred's hands on his boyfriend.   
“Hello everyone, sorry for the delay” he said sitting in the free chair next to Merlin “Hey babe” he said then turning to give Merlin a kiss on his lips.  
Mordred's hands immediately parted from Merlin's arm, while all the others looked at them with wide eyes.   
“Did we have a collective hallucination?” asked Morgana “When?” Lance asked “ I told you I heard something a couple of nights ago!” continued Gwen punching Lance on the harm “ I called it! It was so obvious something was going on between you two after the evenings in the country” concluded Gwaine.  
The two boys laughed, intertwining their fingers on the table “It is quite recent and yes Gwen, you may have heard something a couple of nights ago… we, mmm we weren't too silent, sorry” said Merlin scratching his neck “I’t better if you get used to it” concluded Arthur before kissing his boyfriend again.


	5. EPILOGUE

_**4 years later ...** _

  
The first one of Merlin’s book was a bestseller, and even the other four volumes did not disappoint his expectations.  
Every year the new book of the "two sides of the same coin” saga was in the top five of the best selling books and Merlin couldn't be more happy.  
The last book had just come out and Arthur, as he had done for the other for, had thrown himself headlong into it, enjoying how his fiancé had used all of their family dynamics within them.  
After the first two years of dating, Merlin had asked Arthur to move in together and the Pendragon gladly accepted.  
It was now two years of living together, two years of cuddling on the couch, candlelit dinners, movies and, as often happens, discussions, shouts, threats and repairing sex.

“MERLIN!” Merlin heard Arthur's scream even before seeing him appear at his study’s door “How could you!” Arthur said hitting Merlin with his own book.  
“So you have read the last chapter”  
“You killed me!”   
“For the umpteenth time Arthur, that Arthur is not you!”  
“Why you killed me, why you condemned your character to an immortal life alone! It's this a way to tell me you want to break up!?”  
Merlin stood up and put his hands on Arthur's shoulders “No, you dollophead! You didn't read the very last page, didn't you?” Merlin asked, then raising an eyebrow “No, why?   
“Read it”  
“For centuries the sorcerer will wait for his king, until the day when the two meet again because a love like theirs knows no time” Arthur started reading “Read silently” Merlin scolded him.  
Arthur began to read the acknowledgments silently “I would like to dedicate this book to my Arthur without whom the character of King Arthur would not have had even half of the charisma.  
Like our namesake we too have lost touch for a long time, but now we have found each other again and I will never let you go again.  
I love you Arthur and I will never stop telling you.  
I loved you for 4 years as a boyfriend and I hope to love you even more as a husband.  
So Arthur Pendragon, will you marry me?”  
"Merlin what..." Arthur said confused, looking up to find himself in front of Merlin, with a 32 tooth smile and a small velvet box in his hand.  
“So, will you?” Merlin asked “Yes,I do”after putting the ring on Arthur's finger, Merlin kissed him with transport.  
“You are an idiot, do you realized that millions of people will read our marriage proposal”  
“Yes, and a million people will know they have no hope of having me anymore”  
“Because you are mine”  
“Because I’m yours, I was always yours and forever will be” 

* * *

That same evening, Merlin posted a new photo on his official Instagramm profile: in the photo he and Arthur were embraced, the warm light of the afternoon made Merlin's office shine again, making it look like an old bookstore.  
Both men had their hands in the foreground with the rings clearly visible.  
The caption read: The softie said yes  
and just below a series of comments were visible:  
Arthur Emrys Pendragon: You are an idiot ❤️  
 _Merlin Emrys Pendragon_ : And you a softy ❤️  
Arthur Emrys Pendragon: I love you  
 _Merlin Emrys Pendragon_ : I love you too

  
__THE END__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is really the end ...  
> I suck at writing end notes and I rarely put them at the end of my stories, but for this one I wanted to make an exception.  
> First of all, I would like to thank whoever has spent some of their time reading my work, your Kudos and comments on the old versioine prompted me to rewrite this story and to give it a more complex and hopefully syntaxically correct form.  
> I have to say that I am proud of how this story transformed from a simple draft on my computer to something that was resembled to a good story.  
> I also want to thank @ cracked-teapot (on Tumblr) again for her two illustrations, working with her has been a pleasure.  
> Finally, a special thanks goes to you who have followed this new version of the story, I would have a small request for you: if you want, leave me a small review in the comments, even a simple word like "It sucked", "Wow", "Please stop writing", "I liked it" and stuff like that.  
> So that I can improve in this pastime which helps me to face reality.  
> Thanks again for your time, a hug, LOTS


End file.
